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Article #1

Remembrance

This is a very holy practice called Remembrance. It is a practice I am happy to share and highly recommend for all people. This practice, once learned, can be taught to others. I have found it stress-reducing, revealing and transformative.

Remembrance is a way to remember something greater than yourself. The practice appears to be very simple. You slowly repeat the Name of the Highest over and over again deeply in your heart. This name can be God, Allah, Allaha (Jesus's name for father), Elohim, Source of Love, Source of Peace or the name you feel most represents the most elevated expression of Oneness. When you repeat the name in your heart, it is more than calling the name into the pump we call our heart. It is the heart area, some call it our energetic heart - the place you put your hand when you stand and sing the national anthem at the baseball game. On the outward level you are repeating the Name, but on the inward level you are invoking the presence of the most High into your being with awareness.

My teacher Sidi al Jamal, head of the higher Sufi council in Jerusalem has said that, "He puts the love in everyone's heart to be able to feel the Way of the Love because all hearts are inside His Heart." In this way we are truly One. As you call in the Name of the most High, your heart gradually remembers this and is actually being cleaned of pain, trauma and suffering. One of the wonderful experiences of reciting the Name is that it brings your heart to new levels of peace, contentment, and love. With regular practice, you begin to taste the truth of who you really are.

To begin Remembrance, it is important to be polite. By polite I mean to remember that you are inviting the Holy presence in with a conscious request. And as a cherished guest you would be polite and not demanding, but rather to ask humbly for your requests of guidance and help. Your job is to just RECEIVE whatever it is that you are to receive, letting go of any expectations and judgments about what this needs to look or feel like. Sit quietly and do Remembrance for about 15 minutes daily working up to an hour. As you do this practice, it becomes easier. One day, you may find that you were actually sitting much longer than you intended. One of the best times to do this practice of Remembrance is in the stillness of the night between 2:00 and 4:00 AM when the veils between the material world and the divine worlds are the thinnest.

You may often notice that the Name may create a softness, a feeling of love and well-being, a sense of peace, or it may touch on an emotionally sensitive area or bring about a subtle physical sensation. This is normal and very very good. Just stay with it until the sensitive place changes and is transformed. It is also helpful during Remembrance to ask the Highest to take you deeper inside your heart. An exciting experience is not the goal; rather, it is to be in an intimate and loving communion with your Creator. Remember the Name is gently washing your heart. Sometimes the heart needs a little extra cleaning to clean off the accumulated residue of life. Sometimes the old adage is true: no pain no gain! So just relax, breathe, surrender to it and trust what God is making. You are always safe in His loving care.

Blessings to your heart, Ann Bruckelmeyer/ www.loveapproval.com

If this article is helpful, please let me know! I ask that if there is reprinting of my article, it remain unedited, with full contact information and link attached.

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Article #2  

Love and Value Yourself

One of the things I learned most about external dependency is the need to love and value yourself first.  When we love and value ourselves, we have an abundance of love to freely give to another. Wow!  What a great feeling and often discussed concept!   It's true.  From a place of emptiness, scarcity or lack of love it's hard to give love freely and unconditionally.  Even then, it's not perfect.  It's easy to see how it can be a difficult task even if you were fortunate enough to grow up in a relatively healthy and functional family or social environment -- I wonder if healthy and functional really exists?  Few of us have gotten through life without a few scars, and most having hit some speed bumps along the way.

In actively seeking and looking for love, our defenses are very creative by stepping into high gear to protect what is most vulnerable - our soft underbelly and heart.  Our antennas naturally look for love to fill us up or at the very least search for the remedy to pacify us in case we can't find it.

In the care and feeding of the heart, some people who are lacking love and feeling miserable, attend therapy, join support groups and read books as solutions to feel better. Those not so fortunate run into a brick wall many times before crying uncle.  People who are willing and able make huge strides in their personal development and recovery.  Even then, what is often missed is the spiritual healing of the heart.  Often the spiritual component is overlooked, not considered or ranked at the bottom of help aids.   In having worked in the field of employee assistance for a number of years, seeing 25 new people a week, I would always ask the same question, "What helps you get through difficult times?"   Some people were quick to say their Lord, God, higher power or make reference to something greater than themselves right away; however, most of the time God ranked at the bottom of the list of options that were considered helpful.

Not only is God completely sufficient and up to this task to completely help us and heal us, but as my spiritual teacher Sidi says, if He didn't care about us, He would not have inspired us to Unity.  Meaning that there is only God in his glory and oneness and everything has it's place and is completely attended to within this Unity.    When our heart is in joy, it is easy to feel close to God.  When in pain, it's just as easy to question if God is even there leaving us to wonder if He has abandoned us and forgotten us to spin our wheels in turmoil and agony.  The Truth is God has never abandoned anyone, only We have turned away in our own heart.  

Blessings to your heart, Ann Bruckelmeyer/ www.loveapproval.com

If this article is helpful, please let me know! I ask that if there is reprinting of my article, it remail unedited, with full contact information and link attached.

 

 

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Article #3

Giving yourself away?

In codependency we give ourselves away to the people or things we are most excited about or to the newest craze, be it celebrity, channel, or crystal gazer. We give away our power and also our concern for ourselves, and even our trust in our own decision making. Instead we mistakenly believe that someone or something has the power to give us what we are searching for. In this way, we surrender to other rather than trusting our inner wisdom -- our own direct connection to the Divine in our own heart. We tell ourselves if only we could only find a solution to our dilemma; our problems would disappear leaving us in a state of love and bliss. Instead we are often left frustrated, hungry, and searching.

In giving ourselves away, what remains is emptiness, guilt, shame and paralyzing fear that prevents us from making changes and moving forward. In an attempt to escape, we seek remedies to numb us and alleviate the pain from unmet needs. These creative remedies vary from individual to individual and from one extreme to another. Some of the ways we self-soothe range from denying our feelings and needs, escaping to harmful relationships, comfort eating and drinking, excessive spending, approval-seeking, and other distractions that keep us from looking within. These strategies only temporarily work. Later we feel guilty and depressed because we turned to something that didn't work anyway. Take for example our own sense of self-worth. By resolutely believing in the opinions of others as the measuring stick that defines us, we become dependent on their approval to determine our worth. If we are treated well and approved of, we rationalize it's because we must have self-worth. On the other hand, if we are not treated well, our self-worth is in ruins. In this way, we become a slave to the ups and downs of another. If we are a product of an early life experiences that are filled with abandonment, neglect or abuse, the pain is even more profound.

Why don't these methods work? It has to do with the heart. Not the pump of the heart but the state of our heart. When the heart is filled with love, we become open to receiving and giving love to others. The more our heart is filled, the more love is reflected back to us. People look for love in many different ways yet it is available to us right within our own hearts if we know how to access it. Love is not learned in the mind; rather it is a directly experienced in the heart. A teacher, Dr. Jaffe writes, "As long we seek to have our needs for love fulfilled by an outside source of love that is unable to truly give love, we will always feel separation, disappointment, and the hunger of the heart for the real food."

So what is the real food? It is Divine Love that is unconditional,
compassionate, all encompassing, merciful and complete. It's the real sustenance that we are searching for. This Love is deep and abiding and available in your own heart. We need only remember that it's there. This deep Divine Love is what you are missing when you search outwardly. This Love will never abandon, neglect or abuse you. Instead you can find comfort and solace in it which will bring you Peace. From this place, giving yourself away is not likely to happen!!

Blessings to your heart, Ann Bruckelmeyer

If this article is helpful, please let me know! I ask that if there is reprinting of my article, it remail unedited, with full contact information and link attached.

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Article #4

Letting go of Anger

Anger is an emotion, a feeling.  It affects the way we interpret and experience our world and it is a signal that tells us we are not getting our needs met.  When we think of anger as bad, we try to squash, deny or repress it. Then we don't deal with it at all. As a result, anger comes out in hidden ways one way or another such as depression or disease. One thing for sure, the energy is going to be expressed and it won't be healthy. Since anger is also a vehicle to communicate to others, it can produce both negative and positive outcomes.

I woman recently told me she felt bad and guilty whenever she felt angry.   Although there is much to say about anger and many ways to approach the subject, here are a few thoughts as it relates to codependency.  Many people who struggle with codependency feel it’s wrong or bad to be angry.  When we have these judgments, we repress the emotion, cover it over, or bury it. Frequently the outward strategy is to project it on to someone or something making it another's fault. It's kind of like a quick "squash the bug reaction" meaning get rid of it. When we fail to take responsibility for our own anger it can lead us to partake in the blame or shame game.

There are in many viewpoints surrounding anger and explanations as to how it develops.  What we do know about anger it that how we react is learned at a very young age.  Anger reactions can be the result of modeling from well meaning or ineffective caregivers, frustrations due to unmet needs, and triggers in current events that are reminiscent of past wounding such as physical and emotional abuse (ie, blame, abandonment and shame).   Common shaming tactics are statements are “good people are not supposed to get angry,” “girls are supposed to be nice,” or “big boys don’t cry.” This sets us up to be merciless with our anger or that of others.

Additionally, our bodies don’t lie; in part they are indicators of anger held for long periods by an overloaded system. This strain can take many forms such as the “-itis” diseases of inflammation (i.e., arthritis, bursitis, tendonitis among others) and high blood pressure.

Fear also plays an unconscious role in our lives causing us to believe our feelings of anger will drive people away and out of our lives.  To avoid this, we might turn to “people pleasing” instead.  Some people are simply afraid of their feelings because if they truly let their anger out, the raging psychopathic beast will be let out of its cage consuming everything and everyone in sight.

People who struggle with codependency frequently internalize the angry comments of others believing instead that they are at fault. Often times, it is easier to express injustices done to others more so than acknowledge the injustices done to them.  A maneuver out of this uncomfortable feeling is to attempt to fix the situation.  Frequently, we may even strike a bargain with ourselves, another or with God to change the situation so we don’t have to feel it or live with an unpleasant emotion.  Sound familiar?

The truth is that we all have our angry moments, if we didn’t we wouldn’t be human.   To judge our feelings actually causes more problems because now we compound the emotion with guilt and self-condemnation.  So what is “just” anger vs. regular anger?  Just anger is when atrocities are inflicted on us or others by others and we are unable to do anything about it.  However, many times we are able to do something about what is inflicted on us.  What prevent this is feeling frozen or unwilling to speak or act due to possible consequences.  Many times expressing our feelings and needs with a positive request is all that is needed (Marshall Rosenberg – Non-violent Communication).   Additionally, anger is frequently a mask for different emotions that are running under the surface such as sadness or fear. Anger reminds us of what need we now have to live without.

The way to work through anger is to first be aware of your feelings. As a therapist I’ve often recommended taking the time to journal feelings and read them back when you’ve cooled down. In this way you can dump your feels on paper, getting as graphic as you need, then read it back later to examine the possibility of a more rational response. 

In a spiritual way, what I highly recommend as a way through anger, is to sit in Remembrance – it’s like getting a Divine perspective on the situation you’re angry about.  In this way, anger is a gift that invites you to look within.   While in Remembrance, you can bring the Name of the Highest to the place of the greatest hurt.  This means, be willing to look behind your anger.  Is it sadness or fear present?  What is behind the sadness or fear?  Let Remembrance be your vehicle to go inside through deeper and deeper layers.  It’s important not stop if the process becomes uncomfortable.  Here is a spiritual truth – Are you ready?  Ok. “Where you stop is where you end up.” The way to is through!  Feelings are just feelings, but they can be very enlightening if given the time to be explored

If you are angry, ask yourself the following questions:  

Be patient and polite. The answer may come right away, or you might need to repeat this again and again until it’s the right time to be given the answer.  The answer may also come to you in unexpected ways. Rest assured, you will be answered eventually. Trust!  Don’t be surprised if you feel completely needy here.  Neediness is a very holy state.  When we are completely needy for assistance (like hitting bottom) our Self gets out of the way and we become more open to receiving guidance.  Intuition becomes easier to access. People are never more open for help then when in crisis.  From the place of neediness, we can call upon Divine Love and Support to guide us through what ever we are struggling with.  There is a freedom that comes with letting go and letting God manage our affairs. 

When we doubt that inner part of us, our gut feelings, we act against our nature.  Our action or behavior may be different and opposed to what our intuition tells us.   As we receive guidance from this Divine perspective, we gain more clarity and a gain a better sense of right and just actions.  When you act in the way of just actions, life goes along more smoothly because you are not acting from your lower Self.

Blessings and love, Ann Bruckelmeyer, www.loveapproval.com

Any forwarded article, please keep live link attached.

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Article #5

Healthy Boundaries

Thought I would say a little about boundaries because in codependency, it’s is a nagging problem that causes much pain.  What we know about poor boundaries is that we send too much out from ourselves and allow too much from another in.  Too much might be too controlling, emotional, loud, sexual or too much into someone else’s business.  Usually this causes another to withdraw in order to feel safe from bombardment.  The outcome for you of their pulling away often triggers recent and age-old wounds of physical or emotional rejection and/or abandonment – imagined or not.

On the flip side of this equation is lacking knowledge that your own boundaries are being violated.  With poor boundaries of letting others in, you wind up giving and giving inappropriately only to find yourself used up and exhausted.  This leads to feelings of resentment, vulnerability, victimization and overall misery.  As a way to cope, we unconsciously may erect walls to keep others out and provide a safe haven for ourselves. Over time, stress opens us to mental, emotional and physical sickness. 

Learning about boundaries is extremely valuable because it leads to insight.  What is not so easy is stopping doing what you are doing when you know you are in a destructive, repetitive pattern that doesn't’t seem to end.  Here lies a problem.  Insight alone, although essential, is not the complete answer!  Next time you read an insightful self-help book, notice how much of the book is dedicated to understanding the problem and how much of the book is focused on the cure.  Pay close attention if the cure offers the ways and means to get there!  If reading alone helped, all of our issues would be solved.

The real work is beginning to know yourself more. In all the holy books, it says we are the reflection of God.  As you know yourself, you know your Lord.  At the root of getting to know yourself more, it’s necessary to face our own issues of power, fear, anger, sexuality etc.  As we learn who we are amidst all of these issues, we become more comfortable in our own skin.  As we know ourselves, we know what feels right inside ourselves and we naturally begin to set healthier boundaries.  For example, we own our feelings, assume responsibility for working through our issues and express our needs in ways that don’t infringe on our safety or that of another human being.  We act in accordance with our inherent nature of being peaceful and loving human beings.  

How do you know yourself?  My spiritual teacher, Sidi al Jamal writes in his book, Music of the Soul, “First you must begin to know yourself because everything that matters is inside you, not outside you.  All the secrets are inside you and you are the holy secret.”   Knowing yourself is a spiritual transformational journey, not a quick fix.  One of the spiritual practices the Sufis do to help know ourselves and experience a closer connection to God is doing an ancient healing practice called Remembrance.  We are in essence remembering God through the practice by reciting the name of God in our heart.  Remembrance washes our hearts with the water of Truth to remove the coverings of the world that say we are "this" or we are "that." One of the things about Truth is that when we hear it, receive it, or sense it in our own heart, there is a resounding “YES, that feels right – I know that’s true!” It comes from within which is the source.  When are heart is clean with the water of Divine Love and Mercy, we come to know who we really are.

Blessings to your heart, Ann Bruckelmeyer

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#6 Celebrate Me (anonymous author)

I CELEBRATE ME

I am worth celebrating. I am worth everything. I
am unique. In the whole world, there is only one
me. There is only one person with my talents,
experience, gifts. No one may take my place.

God created only one me, precious in His sight. I
have immense potential to love, care, create,
grow, sacrifice, if I believe in myself.

It doesn't matter my age, or color, or whether my
parents or someone else loved me or not. (Maybe
they wanted to but couldn't.)

It doesn't matter what I have been, the things
I've done, mistakes I've made, people I've hurt.
I am forgiven.

I am accepted. I am okay. I am loved in spite of
everything. So I love myself and nourish seeds
within me.

I celebrate me. I begin now, start anew, I give
myself a new birth today. I am me, and that is
all I need to be.

Today is a new beginning, a new life, given
freely. So I celebrate the miracle; and I
celebrate me. (anonymous)

Blessings to your heart, Ann Bruckelmeyer

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Article #7

The Cookie Jar

As we all know, growing up in a difficult and stressful home has its ups and downs.  Often times in codependency, our inability to “cure” our parents when we were young leads to an overwhelming need to cure or fix something or someone.  The tape goes something like, “if only I give all my love to help this person, surely I will be the beacon of light in their life, I’ll be so appreciated, they will be forced to love me.”   The rationalization is that the love we desperately want for ourselves will be returned ten-fold making us whole again. We often look unconsciously for that ripe and juicy "needy person" to shower this love on, usually to our own detriment.  It’s no mistake this person is in our life because this person actually mirrors our own neediness.

This is cure/fix-receive strategy is a daunting illusion and one, unfortunately, many people live by.   What happens instead is we spend our time and energy filling up an empty cookie jar.   Why is it empty?  The reason in theory seems simple.  You can’t fill another’s jar or supply someone with an endless supply of cookies when your own jar or cup is empty.

Imagine for a moment that you have this great cookie jar.  Suppose you begin to give all your cookies away.  Pretty soon you’re left with none.  Then you begin to argue over who took the last cookie because now you’re hungry, or perhaps,  someone didn’t appreciate all the time it took to make the dough, bake, serve them up and clean the plate.  Sound familiar?  Now suppose you have access to a supplier of cookies that keeps your jar in full supply even when you’re not even aware of it.  From this place, it doesn’t matter if any one appreciates your generosity or not because you now have tons of tasty treats to spare and share.  When your jar is full, it’s easy to give freely.  

It’s the same with other forms of giving, for awhile it feels satisfying because after all, it does feel good to give.  It warms the heart and brings joy to our being. And according to all the holy books, it is in the giving that we receive!  However, when we are empty ourselves, when we’re down to our last cookie, our giving is seldom unconditional. When we are really honest with ourselves, our giving has those strings attached that say something subtle like, “what are you going to give to me in return?”   After awhile, our giving from this empty place leads to feelings of anger and frustration.  Thoughts of being unappreciated, under valued and used surface.  This opens us up for resentments.    

When we find we’re giving from a deficit, it’s good to follow a few simple rules such as being empathic with ourselves, examining our own negative thoughts, seeing what our own feelings and needs are and try to give ourselves a break.  In other words,  stop judging ourselves so harshly.  When we have difficulty refraining from judgment,  it is a perfect time to remember that we have a spiritual maker (baker) that is always filling up our cookie jar.  From this place, resentments fade away and once again we are able to give and contribute to the happiness of another in a way that feels good.  One way I have found is to look within for connection to the Source of all those cookies.  When we look within and remember our Source, we begin to fill.  The Sufis call it tasting.  The object of our tasting is the Source of unconditional love, the provider of all our needs and the complete manager of all of our affairs – the master cookie maker.   As we fill up in our own hearts, we are then able to give freely with no strings attached.

So how do I know if it’s right to give?  This is where the heart comes in.  The heart, meaning the deeper heart, knows how to give Love in the right way because it is establishing in your Lord, God, Higher Being.  This is different from the shallow part of our heart that wants everything it can get its grubby little hands on – the Sufis call it the Nafs – the part of us that follows our appetites.  Our heart also guides us to give in a way that is polite and protective to ourselves and others.  In this way, we can learn to discern if it’s right for us in this moment to give a cookies, how many, or to sit down and enjoy a cookie for ourselves.   

How can we get in touch with the deeper part of our heart?  This is the good part; it’s remembering that we have an unlimited supply of Love in our heart available at all times. It’s the place that knows that the cookies will never run out.

Blessings to your heart, Ann

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Article #8

Gaining Trust

How do you gain trust when you may have had only a few brief experiences of trustfulness in childhood?  If you survived difficult early years where trust was broken repeatedly, it's no wonder that you might look out from adult eyes and see that everything this person from the past stands for is not to be trusted.  What frequently happens is some part of our Being becomes cynical, paranoid, revengeful, self-loathing or immersed in our own process of self-denial. When we deny, we turn away from pain and give up our hope and expectations for a better future when in fact a common recovery adage is, "it's better to give up hope for a better past."

If the past stopped, it might be easier to cope as an adult. However, the past doesn't stop, at least not so easily.   We often bring our past feelings and emotions into present-life situations and just like plaster, we spread (project) our images on to others. These images (pictures) from the past our held in our hearts just like our antiquated beliefs are held in our mind.  These images and beliefs seek to reinforce our current experience.  Our existence becomes validated when we listen to the same tape that is stuck in repeat mode.  The tape goes something like this:  "I knew I was right" (validating); "I'm out of here" (avoidance); "I'm going to die" (collapsing under strain); "I won't look at that" (denial); "I have to do it myself" (self management); or "I will have it my way" (control freak), among others.

One of the sweetest gifts I have received from in my spiritual training has been the awareness of opening up to the divine quality of Mercy.  It is Mercy in the heart. When we have mercy for our heart that has suffered, we have compassion for ourselves and stop judging ourselves and/or others so harshly. With Mercy, we can accept that life has been difficult and that, as well meaning (or not) our early experiences with others have been, those experiences don't have to lock us permanently into the present state of misery.

Mercy helps our heart be in acceptance for what is!  From a place of acceptance, we can then receive healing balm for our wounds and open to new possibilities. When we hitch our wagon to mercy, we become grateful for what we receive of it.  Our trust meter becomes active, enlivened and we become rejuvenated.   A glimmer of hope rekindles because the possibility of something restorative comes out of the ashes.  In my Sufi training, my spiritual teacher says that Mercy is the complete chance to know yourself -- "When you know yourself, you know your Lord."

One of the best ways I know, to know your Lord in your own heart is through an ancient practice of Remembrance. Remembrance opens the heart to the complete Mercy and cleans the heart of the rust of believing you in separation from this Oneness.

Blessings to your heart,

Ann Bruckelmeyer  

********************************************************* Self-Responsibility

What usually happens is we feel either our partner is wrong, or we must be.  One of the things about spiritual growth is being aware and willing to look at your own part or role that is played out in any given situation or experience.  When you are in
self-responsibility, you are not in blame.

It's easy to blame others.  It relieves us of our sense of guilt
and shame.  It might even be enjoyable to partake in this strategy. We roll up our sleeves, dive in, and afterwards feel relieved and vindicated.  An added bonus is that if another person assumes the responsibility for an action or behavior, we are off the hook until the next situation arises.   When we pass on blame to another, we protect our injured self from yet another wound.

It's true; what goes up must come down.  And there is a downside to blame.  First of all, no one likes to live with someone who is "always right" or worse, flaunts it, or someone who is quick to judge and points out our flaws.  After all, the human condition is that we're all imperfect and it doesn't take much hard work to find something not quite right.  Blaming might relieve the current stress as a temporary payoff, but it is short-lived because you might suspect that you weren't an angel in the situation to begin with.  And most importantly, deep down inside it doesn't feel good to make another wrong or revel in their pain.  Just like the gambler who has lost all his money on a bet, you lose in the end too.

How is self responsibility not played out in codependency?  Say for example Susan does not want to give an opinion to her partner because she'll risk exposing herself and become vulnerable. Instead she defers any opinions to her partner who begins to make all the decisions.  Fast forward to when Susan complains to a friend that she is always feeling controlled and domineered.  Her partner now finds himself in the role of caretaking because Susan is afraid to risk speaking up.  He now becomes the default decision making. Let's look at only Susan's part in this for the moment.    Where is Susan's self responsibility?  Perhaps it is difficult for her to speak up.  Perhaps her strategy of speaking up has gotten her into trouble in the past.  Where does she begin?

It would be much easier if both partners, in the above case of Susan, were aware of their fears and anxieties and took the time to explore inwardly what is moving within them.  From this place of honesty and self-responsibly, more choices and options become available.  Imagine what it would be like to speak from their heart, express needs, empathize, and make requests of each other. This practice would undoubtedly lead to mutual peace and understanding all your relationships.  The benefits would most likely be very beneficial and satisfying. In actuality, what seems so simple can be actually be very difficult if you haven't had a history of success in your endeavors or was not clear about what you needed to do for yourself.  That is why it is helpful to explore and step into the stream of self-responsibility; to take stock of your own feelings and needs.  An added benefit of looking within is that it becomes an opportunity to become intimate with yourself.  It enables you to look within and become more authentic. When you are authentic, you know yourself well and you accept your judgments and anxieties more readily (or at least are not afraid to look them over).

From the place of our Ego, we cannot always get a clear read on what's needed or what is helpful to communicate.  That is where the heart comes in. The heart, being the connection with the Divine is our source of Divine Wisdom and Intuitive Knowing.  The heart is better equipped to make decisions rather than the rationalizations of the mind because the mind is in service to the heart.   When we are in touch with our heart we act more out of love and right action. It is helpful to know that sometimes the heart wants what it wants so we have to be careful what part of the heart we are
listening and aligning with.  That is why we need to practice or
get help with the process of Remembrance.  From this place of
alignment with our deep heart, we act in harmony with the Divine and our actions are responsible.

Here are a few helpful suggestions:  Sit with the any situation that calls to you and be honest and self-responsible with what a given situation means to you.  You can jot down a few things such as, "What am I telling myself about this situation?" And, if that were true, what am I telling myself about this as well.  Keep asking yourself over and over until you get to the "bottom line" the place of the deepest-held belief you have about yourself. Here's a hint; it is most often the most painful point of reference.  Don't stop here.  Be patient and loving to yourself in this place. Try not to change your feelings about it.  It's best to just witness your own heart's reaction. Very important next step - Bring Remembrance (Article #1-see hyperlink below) into the place of deepest pain and see what the Divine makes with it. Be a witness to your own experience. Upon taking time to do this meditative practice, the painful feelings will soften, leave or transform. Transformation occurs when you have a new awareness or perspective about the situation.  Note that sometimes, the feelings get stronger. Don't despair if you feelings get stronger - it means you are right on tract and just have more heart centered work to do. Stay with Remembrance until you feel peace and gratitude in your heart.  Remember there is no problem that you and the Divine working together cannot solve.  

Need some help?  You are invited to experience Remembrance at Noon on November 24th at CST. Bring your concerns or questions to the next free teleclass.  A link will be sent you a few days in advance if you're on my e-mail list.  Bring a friend.

Blessings to your heart,

Ann Bruckelmeyer